I graduated from nursing school and started on the general medicine floor of the local Trauma I hospital. It was a horrific start. In nursing school, I heard often that ‘nurses eat their young’ but I did not understand that, nor did I put much thought into it. Come to find out, only one month into my new nursing job, I knew exactly what that meant. Nurses are a breed of their own, they can be cruel, backbiting and right down mean to one another. You would think in a field that was dominated by women at the time I graduated, they would pull together and support one another, but heavens no, they were horrible to one another.
I had worked about six months and was exhausted at the constant complaining and unkindness. I often found myself telling the other nurses if they wanted it to be different, make it that way. That simple opinion did not get me on the ‘best liked’ side of the nurses I worked with. I simply could not understand why this huge group of women did not want to make a change for the better.
I was working an afternoon shift when I got to know Molly. She was quiet, kept to herself and took good care of her patients. On this afternoon she was sitting at the table where we did our charting and she pointed to me and motioned for me to come over to her. I did just that. I sat down next to her and she proceeded to enlighten me on the subject of nurses and the BIG mistake I was making.
Molly explained that most of the women on the unit were “working moms” and most of them were single moms and the ones that were not, had deadbeat husbands that expected them to support the family. Molly also let me know that the complaining and griping was a release and not one of them would do anything to cause any kind of a rife. This was their life and they accepted it. Molly said something profoundly true and blunt to me. She called me by name and said I did not belong working on a hospital floor like this, that I wanted more in life and I was not going to find it working that job. She told me she expected me to work two years or less and I would move on to greater challenges.
Molly was absolutely right. Her quiet observations and astute sense of character were correct because I worked two years and then transferred into another area of the hospital. I set my sights on making the money of a manager but not having the responsibilities and headaches that go along with that type of job.
After the conversation with Molly, I would observe her every shift we worked together. She never said much to anyone, she did her job and took her breaks faithfully. Every time she was on her shift, whether a morning or afternoon, she ate a hamburger, fries and a shake consistently.
I asked Molly once why she always ate the same thing day after day and her reply was, “I love hamburgers, fries and shakes and no one is going to tell me how to eat and I want to die young”.
Several years after I had moved on to different nursing jobs I heard from a former co-worker that Molly had gotten sick, that her illness turned into sepsis and she was admitted to the ICU at the hospital we worked together at and there she passed away in her 50s. Just as she had told me, she died at a young age and eating the food she wanted to eat.
I have often thought about Molly and her decision to understand what she wanted in life, her quiet, observant ways and her ability to state facts and live by them. As for me, eating that way is not something I would enjoy, but Molly did and she knew herself. She knew that eating that way would shorten her life span and that was just fine with her.
What is it that you want in your life? This question is one that each of us must ask ourselves.
Do I want to be healthy, fit, trim, calm, happy, serene, peaceful, energetic, quiet, observant, a good listener, experienced, understanding, wealthy, abundance in many areas of my life?
Over the years I have grown to admire Molly for her determination, Molly knew what she wanted and lived it.
